Bandwidth and Backing Sheets
I have struggled these last few weeks to find a creative flow. My writing has felt forced. The cameras have sat on the shelf instead of hung around my neck. I have read a little, but I haven’t consumed anybody else’s work with much interest. I have, however, been obsessed by my sailboat, a 1977 Pacific Seacraft 25 named Dash. Cleaning, fixing, planning, and researching, nearly all of my alone time has been spent on these duties. I haven’t had my usual lazy free time to wander around with a camera and typewriter. As I write this, I realize how little time I have spent staring at the blinking cursor, or the fading typewriter ribbon. I am Bukowski’s typewriter from his poem 8 Count- tombstone still. And how sorry I am for that. I hope the price for adventure does not include my creativity. They seem like they would go hand in hand, adventure and creativity, but lately they have clashed. Maybe this is a symptom of my inexperience in both disciplines.
My routine is to obsess, pivot, obsess, pivot, always learning and dabbling, but never letting something take hold to prevent the pivot to something new. I often circle back, starting up where I left off months ago, part of me disappointed that I’m spread so thin, unable to commit to just one thing. And of course, the first to go are the chores. Lemon trees dying from thirst, embarrassing weeds in the backyard, a drywall patch in the hallway that needs to be painted, window blinds with broken strings, all the household tasks that are essential but boring. I admit it is a lack of discipline, but I justify it by claiming to not have the attention bandwidth to manage it all. I know I’m just rationalizing my failures. I’m working on it.
When you write on a typewriter, it is common practice to use a backing sheet, a second piece of paper behind the page you’re typing on. This backing sheet softens the blow of the type slugs (the letters) on the platen (the rubber roller). The sharp edges of the slugs won’t punch through the paper as easily, it helps preserve the platen rubber, it is quieter, and the type is more consistent. Essentially, it is an added buffer to make everything better. They say to always use a backing sheet. It takes the habit, the discipline, to always use it. Something seemingly so unnecessary (were typewriters designed to need one?), but something that immediately improves the experience. There’s got to be a lesson in that.
Maybe the habit and discipline it takes to always use a backing sheet can lead to the habit of a writing schedule, leading to the habit of watering the lemons, leading to the discipline to fold the laundry before it wrinkles, leading to the discipline to paint the wall, oil the teak on the boat, figure out the sprinklers schedule, save 10% of my take home pay, and chart a course to Vanuatu. Does it all come down to discipline? I wonder what I’ll pivot to next…